Sharing is not always caring

     I love taking pictures of my littles (not an actual word).  That is no secret.  If you follow me on instagram, you might get over whelmed by all my pictures.  My oldest son jokingly made up a song with the tune from the 90s show, Full House. I laughed as he sang, "Everywhere we go, everywhere we go, there's my mom, there's my mom, taking pictures of all of us".  Funny thing is, my children don't even notice the camera or phone anymore.  I am no professional, never took a photography class.  I am loving the opportunity to learn and practice, while capturing memories of them.  I also love instagram, I love the community, the friendships I've made by sharing pictures.  I've watched fellow IGers' children grow through pictures, just like they are watching mine.  We may never meet, who knows maybe we will.  I simply love to be able to share with others of common interest, admire beauty with pictures of places I might never go to and people I may never meet.

   
      The instagram community works by sharing your pictures, doing this, one does loose some privacy. Lately, I've been dealing with people taking pictures from my account without permission and either posting them as their own or tagging me after doing so, sometimes just randomly finding my pictures on people's profiles.  You might tell me, if you want your pictures to be safe, remain private.  Problem is, that defeats the whole idea of sharing.  I like to share, just do not appreciate someone taking my pictures and re posting them without asking first.  I've contemplated being private, but I know that is not for me.  I apologize for my rant, but I think it is common sense.  Sharing is not always caring, sometimes just plain stealing and rude! 

 Remember Jace's motto, "No share", haha!

Things I wish I knew in my 20's or that I knew, but just didn't care to listen to.

1. Slow down, don't need to grow up so fast. While I am happy with my life, I do wish some things would of went smoother years ago. So if your very young and reading this, listen to me please, slow down and take time for yourself, prepare yourself with an education and/or explore those things you would like to do. 2. Puppy Love, sometimes is puppy love. Remember that high school love? That teenage love? I remember thinking that love was all that was needed, who cares about finances and all else. It took me a while, but I learned that it isn't enough.  Maybe it I should say it wasn't unconditional true love both ways. A combination of lack of respect, immaturity, poor finances and stress certainly rocked my first marriage.  Took it to the point that when he wanted to bail, I was a little relieved. Yes, I know some do truly find love at such age, but love is much more than just that. It's respect, trust, tolerance, lots and lots of patience and above all, a two way street. 3. Waiting isn't so bad. It really isn't. Patience is a virtue, easier said than done. Do you remember your parents saying that to you? And do you remember not listening? Haha! This applies to lots of things. From big life decision to making a purchase. I am in no way a patient person, but you live and learn for the next time around. 4. Raising kids is hard. I remember seeing children misbehave when I was pregnant with my oldest. My 21 year old mind said, "oh my kids won't be acting like that".  Here we are almost 13 years later and I'm stuffing my 2 year old's face with candy at the grocery store, just to keep him quiet.  I've been guilty of other "bad parenting" things, you know all those things you read in books and magazines when you were pregnant.  Real life is not books, haha!  And just wait for the adolescent years, your in for a treat! 5. Kids grow up quick. I gave birth my oldest at 21. Before I knew it, he's almost 13. Happens way to fast!  Enjoy them!  Having my son at 21 was different than being 30 and having children, at least in my opinion. I found it's more appreciated, not that I appreciated my 12 year old any less, he is the best thing that happened to me.  You see life and things a little different as you age. Some things become more important while others become less. 18 Months 12 years 6. Education is important but sometimes it's okay to not know what you want. I've known what I wanted to do as long as I can remember, but I do wish I had gone back to school and extended my education before life became so hectic. Some people don't know exactly what they want to do, and sometimes it's okay.  It's the desire to want to, that is more important.  That little spark to want to keep trying or motivation to keep looking for what one wants, is what is important. It's never to late learn and one should never stop thinking.  Thinking brings out great ideas and yields to awesomeness, yes I said awesomeness! 7. Never tell your marriage problems to your parents, family or close friends. Yes, this one sounds stupid, I know. I'm not talking about life changing things or dramatic things, I'm talking about those crazy little fights or those things that you will soon get over. Sometimes your husband and you, kiss and make up, while your family or friends sometimes have trouble getting over them.  I learned this the hard way with my first marriage. Even though we aren't together, I think there are a few things I regret sharing with people close to me. 8. Growing up is hard. So your married, or maybe your not.  Maybe you are single with kids. Or maybe marriage and kids are not your thing.  There comes that moment when things hit you in the face and you realize that petty problems and worries you once thought were big, are nothing to what you now face.  Life is not always easy and glamorous.   You will be stretched in different directions, not always will you stretch, not always will you be able to do all.   One thing is for certain things will be okay. 9.  Becoming your parent or parents is inevitable. Yes, you heard right.  You may not be an exact replica, but at times you will find you come close.  I find myself doing tons of things like my mom, at times I don't like it and try to modify it.  I try to embrace the good parts of it. 10. Family is important. Families come in all shapes and sizes. Composed of different types of people, friends, different personalities.  Relationships change, some for worse some for better.  If you asked me 10 years ago if I would be so close with my mom, I would of told you, you are crazy!

Good, good day

     Today was a good day. One of those days that leaves you smiling. Smiling way after dinner, after dirty diapers, after bedtime struggles and Sunday night shows. After your husband goes to bed and it's just you and your phone, your still smiling. I'm thankful for little days like this. Yes, it's one day in the midst of weeks of tiredness, sickness, stress and hospital stays. And because of that, it makes it more sweeter. 
     I am very thankful for the day, feel very blessed. Family time with the boys and my husband, picking strawberries. We went to Froberg's Farm, in wonderful 70 degree weather!  The kids enjoyed picking strawberries, we enjoyed watching them and of course I had some needed picture taking time.  The farm had plenty of fields of strawberries, wonderful staff, lots of fruit and veggies, homemade fried pies and a smoke house with tasty goodies!  If you are in the Houston area, you should definitely make a drive to Alvin and pay them a visit, so worth it!

   

    I can not finish without saying how wonderful the boys raglan and sweater top are.  They are super cute, comfortable, organic cotton and come from wonderful Quinn and Fox.  Check their clothing items and prints, we love them as well as the owners!  

Hard to get a picture of everyone, haha!

So what!!!

Four in the morning, sitting on the edge of my bed, chest is burning and reaching for my inhaler. This cold started more than a week ago, got better and now worse. My body wants to take some medicine and sleep all day, but in my head I start thinking of how there is no juice, no eggs, almost out of diapers. How in the next room is my mom and dad and I am wondering if my mom will wake up worse and require a visit to the emergency room, she is a ticking time bomb, at least it feels so. I look at my husband who is sleeping so soundly and try to keep quiet. After much attempt to fall asleep, it's 5:30, I get up and get dressed to go buy those missing things from the grocery store. My mom is moaning from pain as she walks to the bathroom, she sounds a little confused, the beginnings of the same thing which lands her in the hospital every time. 
    Today I am tired, what I would do to be alone. No kids, no parents, no husband, just me and the bed. Do what I want, stay asleep all day if I feel. Don't get me wrong, I love my family, but a day alone sounds wonderful. Is it selfish? Maybe, it doesn't make it any less attractive. But no doctors appointments, no cleaning, no laundry, no worrying over my son's homework, no worrying about whose prescriptions need to be filled or did they take all their medications today, all sounds great.
   So I vent to my brother and sister, tell them how I'm tired, how mom is driving me crazy today. I feel a little better. I vent to my husband, who is working and picking up the slack from me missing work so often, he always makes me laugh. Then this guilt comes in about all the complaining I've been doing today. So I start thinking of how to make things easier. I love my mom and dad, but I don't want to neglect my husband and children. Oh why do we have to grow up?
     So I've come to the conclusion that I should just let it all go. Take it as it comes, one day at a time. So what if everyone is in pajamas all day, and so what if the boys eat cereal for dinner. So what if we sometimes have to resort to take out, more than not.  We see all these super moms who keep their house clean, kids tiddy, have all 3 meals per day done, on time and are dressed looking hot while doing it. Nick Jr has these little segments that say, "you been out mommed", funny but very true. It's not a competition, it should be empowerment between moms. I love the mommas who I've friended on Instagram, you ladies are so awesome! My new motto will be 'so what!'.  So what if my hair is up in a pony tail and greasy because I didn't wash it today. So what if we have pajamas all day, so what!  Today I'm not going to care, and I think there will be other days when won't care either, because sometimes, there are bigger things to care about!

Yes, tell me what you think...

I've come to the conclusion that I attract crazy people. Yes, you heard right!  Crazy magnet here!  Random people come up to me and tell me what is on their mind! This morning, by 10 am I had already encountered one of these crazy people.       Running late this morning, we left the house with bed head. We dropped off Nathan at middle school, went to pick up Nathan's glasses, pumped gas, picked up a bite to eat. We then went to pick up some prints of pictures I took of my cousin yesterday.  Typical morning errands right?  Well at the register, the cashier asked me as she looked at my boys,  "are they boys or girls?"  I laughed and said boys.  She apologized and I assured her that it was fine.  She complimented on their hair, we talked about hair care and she asked for some tips (because I must be a professional).  Another lady who appeared to be in her mid-late 40's, starred at us from the distance, made a small comment about how she thought the boys were girls.  We said goodbye, grabbed our things and walked to our car. As I'm loading the boys in their car seats, I noticed the second lady followed me outside to the car and is now standing there, itching to tell me something.  I finish putting Jace in his seat, close the door and smile at her. She says to me " Can I ask you something?", "Sure" I answer.  She goes on to ask me if when I was pregnant did I hope for a girl, I told her I did, but that I'm happy with my three boys.  She then says, "I figured you did.  But let me tell you something. If you are having trouble with them being confused for girls, you will have trouble with homosexuality later on."  At this point I am so surprised by her comment, that it takes me a while to process what she just said to me.  I feel my heart begin to race as I start feeling upset by her comment.  I laughed out loud and told her that just because they have long hair, they are not treated like girls.  I walk over to the other side of my SUV to ensure Ayden buckled himself correctly in his car seat, she follows me over.  She continues to tell me how they being asked if they are a boy or a girl, they will doubt what they are and may become "homosexuals".  I was beyond mad at this time all these thoughts in my head.  I mean how dare she continue to tell me this in front of my 4 year old (who is wise beyond his years), how close minded are you woman, better yet... who asked you?!  I tried to keep my composure in front of my children as she said to me "you should cut their hair". I quickly closed the door to the car and finally gave her a dirty look, and said to her "Ma'am did I asked you for your opinion?"  She looked at me with disbelief.  "You should keep your ignorance to yourself".  I got into the vehicle, closed the door and she finally walked away.  I was so mad, I called my husband to vent.        As I drove home, I thought of all the things I should of said to her.  But what do you say to someone like that?  Clearly nothing I said to her would make her change, not that I really wanted her to.  I was more upset about her saying that to me in front of my children.  I want my children to feel secure in who they are, to understand that there is so many differences in this world and that's what makes it so great.  How does one make children understand that we are each unique, when some people still feel the need for things to be uniform and only a certain way?  How do you deal with this issue? We may not all look the same, but that's the best part!

Our morning

So I have not kept up with the blog every day challenge, I know... not even close!  I said to myself I would the my day in pictures, but I missed the first of the day and the last part.  So I will post what I got.

If there is one thing missing from my day is sleep.  My day starts pretty early, around 7am when Jace wakes up.  Who needs and alarm clock when you have Jace?  Luckly, my oldest son is 12, and is on auto pilot in the morning. Am so lucky that I don't have to fight him to get out of bed, usually he gets up and gets ready without any reminders.  This morning we went out for breakfast.  I get my coffee, they get pancakes and spoiled by our favorite lady at Dennys, Ms. Tiffany.  She spoils the boys rotten, calls them her babies.

 

And what is a morning without a Target run?  Yes, I also suffer from a target obsession! I think Target has made it a point to have a Starbucks at every store so that my boys will yell "Pop, Pop" for cake pops as soon as we walk in, then cry 2 minutes later when they drop them on the floor.  It is a conspiracy between the two, because of course, I also want to have some caffeine.  After our Target run, we headed to the park, to burn some energy, to get them nice and ready for naptime.



Lots of laughs, playing and running! But of course have to stop for some shots of their awesome outfits!



Ayden is wearing a Pre-fresh t-shirt, @susiescustom jean vest, H&M Chino pants, Jace is wearing a Hello Apparel tank top, and H&M suspender short.  Both wearing Converse high tops, which you can't see because of the grass, haha!

 

Then came the melt down when it was time to go home for nap time! The boys share a room at night there isn't a problem.  But for nap time, oh my they need different rooms.

 

 

All this before 1pm, boy I'm tired just thinking about it!

 

 

Pictures

A picture says much more than any words.  If you follow my IG account, you know I'm picture crazy.  Pictures have a way of capturing moments and taking you back to that exact time and place when it was taken.  I have been busy the last week, between my mom being in the hospital, work and feeling under the weather.  No new pictures, but I hope to get some tomorrow.   Meanwhile here are some from a few weeks ago.  We spend a lot of time at the park/playground.  We are lucky to live in an area where there are tons of parks and playgrounds. Here are the littles rocking some leggings from Trendy Ragz and from Salt City Emporium ,shirts from Tiny whales and Quinn + Fox, all of these are super comfy and great for play time!

 

 

 

Crazy things

What is the craziest thing you have done?  Well I must admit I've done some stupid things, which I will not share, haha!  I come from a large, close family on my mother's side.  My mom has 9 siblings, so you can imagine parties and get togethers.  It gets crazy.  I think my husband finds it difficult to deal with it, since he is not close to his family. Every year, for as long as I can remember, my family goes on a camping trip. Yes a camping trip, sleep in a tent, bugs and animals lurking right outside. Some of the trips are in the blazing hot summer and some have been when its nearly freezing.  That year, Ayden was just over a year.  I remember having to pile layers on him at night, because I was afraid he would be too cold to sleep.  So I would have to say, the almost freezing at night camping trips are the craziest, yet somehow very fun!



Ayden's first camping trip at Sam Houston National Forrest

 

So this tradition continues every year, with my parents, brother, sister, aunts and uncles, cousins and now with our children.  I love it, hope my children love it and see it as something to look forward to every year.

 

Jace at our camping trip March 2013

 



 

 

The hubs

Husband?  Who is that?  Funny how lots of us moms rave about our kiddos and don't mentioned that guy who we love.  I am very guilty of that.  So here goes a little something about my wonderful bald guy.

Derrick and I met in 2004, after I was stood up on a date.  We are 9 years and some, apart, I was 25, he was 35.  I never pictured anything serious between us, you know besides dating and just having fun.  We had been married with children. Because of our age difference, I always thought that maybe he saw me as too imature and not serious material.  He quickly became my go to guy for venting, problems and to to lean on, making it easy to fall for him.  But like many times in our lives, he was consumed with work and always busy.  Time and time again I walked away from him because I was tired of him always being too busy with his job, but of course always came back.  We have been "together" without splitting back up for about 6 years, married for about 1 1/2 years.

Derrick is easy going, easy to get along with.  Always smiling. When I was pregnant,  he slept so wonderful and great, while I was miserable.  I used to wake him up on purpose because it made me angry, but he always woke up with a smile, which made me more angry, haha!  He's almost completely bald, I never knew him with hair.  He's loves Sci-Fi, which drives me crazy most of the time.  He's very much a home body, loves to watch movies and TV.  He loves kiddy shows like The vampire Diaries and Teen Wolf, but is embarrassed to admit it (now you know, haha!).  He loves dogs.  He's a wonderful cook and loves to do it, but is absolutely the messiest one!  He's one of the hardest working person, who I have ever met.  He loves the boys, he spoils them rotten!  He's a wonderful father to my oldest son.  He's a wonderful person, genuinely caring and supportive in every way!  This past year, with my mother being sick, has always been supportive of me.  Has been my shoulder to lean on, a provider, my babysitter, the taxi cab and my best friend.  Oh did I get so lucky?!

Best Day

Day 4 for Blog daily challenge - Best Day Ever
Thinking of all the wonderful times in my life, I will have to say that the best day ever was April 2nd, 2001.  Well not exactly the whole day, but at 6:45pm, it turned in the best day ever!  I was 21 years old, with my mom, sister and dad (who was in the corner of the room), little cries filled the room.  A little 6lb 10oz baby boy with a full head of hair and green eyes was place on my chest, and even though he was all wrinkled and covered in goo, he was absolutely perfect!

Nathan Eli is a wonderful boy, more like a young man now.  He is kind, caring and funny, as well as the most loving and caring big brother.  "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be."
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Happy Happy

In the spirit of joining in the challenge by @everydaybay to blog daily, I will try to catch up and keep up. Love all the topics on the challenge!

Happy place?  That's a no brainer here!  For me, it isn't really about a place, more about the people surrounding me.  Being with my boys, my husband, my family is where I can find my happy place anytime and anywhere.  Our lives sometimes get filled with busy schedules, jobs, school... bills, that we forget that the little things, do matter.  Its nice to take a little time to appreciate those small things, which in the long run, bring the most joy.  My boys are my joy, they warm my heart, make me want to be better.
Labor day was a lazy day, since I had worked a 12 hour shift the night before.  After a nap and dinner, took the boys to the park.  My husband surprised us by coming home from work a little early and my oldest son arrived early from his weekend at his father's.  We all played at the park.



That was a "happy place" moment for me.  Hearing the little ones laughter, sharing conversation with my oldest, watching them run and play, their smiling faces... no words describe that happy feeling inside.   I hope they remember moments like this.  My new goal is to take time each day for the little things.  Even if its something so random that you think it's not worth the minute or two, it does.  I remember my father tucking me in bed as a child.  It wasn't daily because of his job, but I have a clear memory of it.  I remember him whispering in my ear, "goodnight my kitty eyes".  I am thirty three years old, and it still brings a smile to my face and warmth to my heart.  Take time to make a happy place today, because it might be a happy place you save for the future!

Daughter

We all have different roles, different hats we wear in our family roles and daily lives.  Sometimes those roles overlap.  I work fulltime outside of home, am a mother, wife and also a daughter.  This past year, I have found it difficult at times to juggle those four.  My biggest role, I would say is being a mother. Being that I have two toddlers, this role is a constant one.  But one can not forget the other three.



"My mom is a never-ending song in my heart of comfort, happiness and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune" - Graycie Harmon

My mother is a 59 year old, hardworking and wonderful mother of three.  This past March, she was diagnosed with cancer, after her tumor literally burst, causing her to bleed internally.  It is a miracle for her to be here and we pray for a miracle for her to continue to do so.  I've been through difficult times in my life; death of a mate and loss of a pregnancy, but these last months have been extra challenging.  Hard to juggle children, marriage, work and finances, as well as that of a daughter.  But I guess all mom's have lots to juggle, right?  That is why we have the capacity to do many things at once, specially if we have the support of family and friends.  I am more than thankful for my husband, who has been my biggest supporter in every way!

My mom is my friend, my shoulder to cry on, my rock. She's always given so much to my siblings and I, worked with what she had and tried to do the best.  Her and my father brought us to this country for a better life, worked multiple jobs to support us.  For them I am very thankful, love them deeply.

So we choose to live daily, with hope, happiness and make the best of each day. We never know what could be tomorrow or if there is a tomorrow.  Thank you for letting me vent! So If I am stressed, missing in action or don't post at times, you understand why!

Shopping!

It's no surprise I like shopping.  It is often said that most women do and I would have to say that I am most women, I love to shop!  Most of my shopping is not for me, I see things and think of buying them for my children, my husband and even my nieces.  Clearly I have a problem and no, I don't want any help!  I find myself buying things then praying the boys don't ruin them on the first wear!  I tell myself, they are boys and getting dirty is the detrimental to their childhood, right?  Who doesn't remember getting dirty when they were kids?  I remember like yesterday, playing in the sand/dirt next to my "Buela's" (Spanish slang for grandma), with my cousins. We made mud pies all day long! Yes, we got yelled at for making a mess and getting our clothes dirty, but we loved it!  So I try to think of things like that when they are ruining a perfect shirt or shoes that I adore!  Yesterday, I found Jace, my 2 year old, had taken a marker and drawn all over the sofa pillows, his shirt and pants.  He had a confused look when I took out the camera and took a picture. How do you reprimand a child after taking a picture and laughing and his silliness? I decided there was no way of me fixing that. I mean who can resist a cutie's shenanigans?!  Again I say, hooray for playtime and getting dirty!

 

We have some new favorites that we have become fans of.  We recently bought some Mini Rodini items from Chicky Pop Shop, they are so soft!  This mama has some awesome items at her shop, follow her on instagram @chickypopshop.  Yesterday, we went by Baby Go Green, and picked up the Mini Rodini penguin sweater, which is beyond soft, wish it was a blanket! We got to meet Debi, the owner of Baby Go Green and she is awesome! Baby Go Green also carries other organic baby and kids brands like Quinn + Fox's Messy hair shirt, like the one Ayden is wearing on the picture below. Drop by these two ladies sites, support small businesses!


Shopping at Houston City Centre at Baby Go Green
 

First things first

Funny how things turn out. Once upon a time, around nine years ago, if you asked me about more children, I would of told you NO! But things change, you age and sometimes mature.  Things that mattered no longer do while lots of things that you never dreamed or mattered, now do. My home and life are filled with boys and shenanigans.

My boys are Nathan who is twelve going on eighteen and sometimes on five, Ayden who is three and Jace who just turned two. They keep me laughing and going, although at times I can not wait for their bedtime!

Night Owl

Without a doubt, I am a night owl.  I've been a nurse for 9 years, love my night shift!  I get to work and then have time for my boys during the day.  But I do find that, when they go to bed and I want to do a thousand things, which don't include sleep.

 

Our IG shop @ayden_n_jace_worn

Personal IG @selenegoodwin

So I'm having/doing some night time guilty pleasures. Instagram. Logging into both IG accounts as we speak. @selenegoodwin, to follow up on all the amazing photography, which is my biggest love after my family. @ayden_n_jace_worn, my IG shop account, where I indulge in some shopping.  Have you tried doing any IG shopping? If you haven't, you should. Lots of great finds on pre-loved and new items. Lots of wonderful shops, just remember to always pay with PayPal, ask for an invoice and save screenshot of purchase for safety and to keep track