So what!!!

Four in the morning, sitting on the edge of my bed, chest is burning and reaching for my inhaler. This cold started more than a week ago, got better and now worse. My body wants to take some medicine and sleep all day, but in my head I start thinking of how there is no juice, no eggs, almost out of diapers. How in the next room is my mom and dad and I am wondering if my mom will wake up worse and require a visit to the emergency room, she is a ticking time bomb, at least it feels so. I look at my husband who is sleeping so soundly and try to keep quiet. After much attempt to fall asleep, it's 5:30, I get up and get dressed to go buy those missing things from the grocery store. My mom is moaning from pain as she walks to the bathroom, she sounds a little confused, the beginnings of the same thing which lands her in the hospital every time. 
    Today I am tired, what I would do to be alone. No kids, no parents, no husband, just me and the bed. Do what I want, stay asleep all day if I feel. Don't get me wrong, I love my family, but a day alone sounds wonderful. Is it selfish? Maybe, it doesn't make it any less attractive. But no doctors appointments, no cleaning, no laundry, no worrying over my son's homework, no worrying about whose prescriptions need to be filled or did they take all their medications today, all sounds great.
   So I vent to my brother and sister, tell them how I'm tired, how mom is driving me crazy today. I feel a little better. I vent to my husband, who is working and picking up the slack from me missing work so often, he always makes me laugh. Then this guilt comes in about all the complaining I've been doing today. So I start thinking of how to make things easier. I love my mom and dad, but I don't want to neglect my husband and children. Oh why do we have to grow up?
     So I've come to the conclusion that I should just let it all go. Take it as it comes, one day at a time. So what if everyone is in pajamas all day, and so what if the boys eat cereal for dinner. So what if we sometimes have to resort to take out, more than not.  We see all these super moms who keep their house clean, kids tiddy, have all 3 meals per day done, on time and are dressed looking hot while doing it. Nick Jr has these little segments that say, "you been out mommed", funny but very true. It's not a competition, it should be empowerment between moms. I love the mommas who I've friended on Instagram, you ladies are so awesome! My new motto will be 'so what!'.  So what if my hair is up in a pony tail and greasy because I didn't wash it today. So what if we have pajamas all day, so what!  Today I'm not going to care, and I think there will be other days when won't care either, because sometimes, there are bigger things to care about!

Yes, tell me what you think...

I've come to the conclusion that I attract crazy people. Yes, you heard right!  Crazy magnet here!  Random people come up to me and tell me what is on their mind! This morning, by 10 am I had already encountered one of these crazy people.       Running late this morning, we left the house with bed head. We dropped off Nathan at middle school, went to pick up Nathan's glasses, pumped gas, picked up a bite to eat. We then went to pick up some prints of pictures I took of my cousin yesterday.  Typical morning errands right?  Well at the register, the cashier asked me as she looked at my boys,  "are they boys or girls?"  I laughed and said boys.  She apologized and I assured her that it was fine.  She complimented on their hair, we talked about hair care and she asked for some tips (because I must be a professional).  Another lady who appeared to be in her mid-late 40's, starred at us from the distance, made a small comment about how she thought the boys were girls.  We said goodbye, grabbed our things and walked to our car. As I'm loading the boys in their car seats, I noticed the second lady followed me outside to the car and is now standing there, itching to tell me something.  I finish putting Jace in his seat, close the door and smile at her. She says to me " Can I ask you something?", "Sure" I answer.  She goes on to ask me if when I was pregnant did I hope for a girl, I told her I did, but that I'm happy with my three boys.  She then says, "I figured you did.  But let me tell you something. If you are having trouble with them being confused for girls, you will have trouble with homosexuality later on."  At this point I am so surprised by her comment, that it takes me a while to process what she just said to me.  I feel my heart begin to race as I start feeling upset by her comment.  I laughed out loud and told her that just because they have long hair, they are not treated like girls.  I walk over to the other side of my SUV to ensure Ayden buckled himself correctly in his car seat, she follows me over.  She continues to tell me how they being asked if they are a boy or a girl, they will doubt what they are and may become "homosexuals".  I was beyond mad at this time all these thoughts in my head.  I mean how dare she continue to tell me this in front of my 4 year old (who is wise beyond his years), how close minded are you woman, better yet... who asked you?!  I tried to keep my composure in front of my children as she said to me "you should cut their hair". I quickly closed the door to the car and finally gave her a dirty look, and said to her "Ma'am did I asked you for your opinion?"  She looked at me with disbelief.  "You should keep your ignorance to yourself".  I got into the vehicle, closed the door and she finally walked away.  I was so mad, I called my husband to vent.        As I drove home, I thought of all the things I should of said to her.  But what do you say to someone like that?  Clearly nothing I said to her would make her change, not that I really wanted her to.  I was more upset about her saying that to me in front of my children.  I want my children to feel secure in who they are, to understand that there is so many differences in this world and that's what makes it so great.  How does one make children understand that we are each unique, when some people still feel the need for things to be uniform and only a certain way?  How do you deal with this issue? We may not all look the same, but that's the best part!